Coin is in the air!
In a toss to pick on the righteousness of a choice or life’s randomness, Jarul flipped the coin. It is of prominent importance. It holds in its stakes, the twin tales of two characters she always derived strength and great content from. The characters of poise and interesting conflicts. Something that marked on the beginning of a calm transition from a Jane Austen girl to becoming of her self.
Coin with two sides of Austere Love and Jane Austen.
Jarul was 20 when she first heard of Jane Austen. Just like that, she visited the then talk in town character of Elizabeth Bennet from Pride & Prejudice was startled to discover the synonymity between Elizabeth and her. Reading or Writing, travel or home making, Liberty or Identity, all that invite infamous word of mouth to a woman from communities all around. It meant big. It imbibed deep. Legendary Jane Austen through the voice of Elizabeth Bennet gave her grounds to firm her feet on terrains of materialistic societies. She could not agree more with Austen’s prophecy on finding Mr. Right or a suitable Bride to be free from the clutches of tempting proposals favouring money, comfort or fame that are often mistaken as foundation of marriage & relationship, and insisted on the outcomes of a choice. This easy to sound word has huge implications on life, Jarul knew. She could easily relate it with people in relationships. Compatibility was all around. The most coveted factor for a successful relationship. Hobbies came next. Not to mention, the greyness of subconscious, ambitious human psyche for great looks. She took admission to the school of thought, she used to call as Austen-ism. It would be very unfair of me not to reveal the creative resourcefulness of Jarul. The same thing which saved her from the syllogistic mess and made the toss to happen.
Jarul grew well with Austen’s voices in her head. With all the spunk to contain the theories of Austen-ism, she was running in Jane’s shoes, unless one day, when she fell.
She fell in Love. Regained her senses only to find that Jane’s shoes were off her feet. They were too short to stick & run with Life’s randomness. The first impact of the fall hit straight on her self-created world of Austen-ism. Hit was strong enough to erase dark, gravy, well written theories to an abstract where compatibilities, hobbies diluted in an instance. What left was only absolute, austere Love. How? He was no where even close to the least compatible version of what Jane or Jarul would imagine. All fresh, new, different, idiotic, even weird and selfish at times. They shared almost nil interests. It was a random hit. Just like Life. Without any of the calculations or precarious signals a personality sends in continuity.
Jarul was in love with Adeel. A kind, happy, lively, more than humane human. Where Jarul played with words and thrived upon great historical personalities of a socio-political world. Adeel played football. Threw pranks on friends and foes. It was fun to see front walls of their rooms postured Gandhi Vs. Charlie Chaplin. Not to mention, who belonged to whom.
Day by day, Jarul discovered a unique strength in odds of this relationship. She was no longer in pursuit of an intellectual company others intend to seek from their relationships. She recently understood that Love is not about finding something but about being it. Yes, she was scared of consequences of an ill-matched relationship. She did wonder if she was Jane in real or Adeel was an ideal character? It began the unsatiating urge to find answers to myriad possibilities that could go on with Austen being in her place. What if Jane Austen would have fallen in Love? What if love was not grown out of the compatibility ratios of the two? What makes an intellectually rich and strong woman to neglect diverse natural human psyches and narrow down the do’s and dont’s of a suitable couple? How would she help her not to like or keep up with the absoluteness of Love? Love, she realized is utmost simple, austere and absolute. Not meant to be arranged or found accordingly to calculations or conveniences? How could one justify the righteousness of a choice over the randomness, nature inculcates in humans? What makes the parameters of a right choice go beyond the boundaries of Love, trust and loyalty to compatible definitions, hobbies or life-styles? Which is stronger – Vanity of alike choices or guts to entertain and keep up with the harshness, differences that originate within love.
Jarul though feared the advances and declines of chosing two sides of the coin. It was this randomness, that blessed her to experience the rare austerity of love. Falling in Love inculcated in her, the strength to keep up with what life gifted her through its random strike.
Jarul flipped the coin with a strange smile reflecting a sense of peace and pride. Again, not to choose a side, but as a salute to revel in life’s randomness.
This post does not degrade or downsize on prophecy of Mr/Miss Right. This is just what people are faced and poured with when in Love-doubts and consequences of choices when loving ones are not what they expect. To love some one unconditional and without labels is the toughest and simplest thing of the world. I just thought to pen down way I felt about it.